Can a Lawyer be Friends with a Judge?

Aaaahhh; ethics once again.

Certainly, ethical problems can and do arise when an attorney becomes friends with a member of the bench. But then wouldn’t the fear of ethical violation preclude the formation of a friendship between members of the bench and bar that might be based on mutual interests?

To me, it is a question that raises more questions than it poses at first blush. And it involves a situation that arises more often than one might imagine.

For instance, what do you call her to her face at a social function? Or in any venue outside the courtroom? It could be at a Bar association meeting, or at a seminar, or even at the grocery store.

As an old-fashioned traditionalist, I find myself sticking with the formal “Your Honor” every time. Yes, I know, Judges are people, too. But my Momma raised me to respect my “elders;” the term goes far beyond the concept of age as a determinative of “an elder.” The word itself connotes a position that demands my respect.

Why am I even worrying about this? I am in a quandary over this because I have a little task to do; and I am stumped.

Last week, my airplane seatmate and I were chatting. After the usual small-talk exchanges about our respective careers and geographical roots, my seatmate mentioned that he knows someone in the law from my neck of the woods: Judge John Doe. He mentioned the name, and I exclaimed, “I know him! He’s also an Adjunct Professor at the Law School where I teach.”

My seatmate asked me to say “Hello” to the Judge for him, and to give the Judge his contact information. Of course, I promised that I would do that, and we parted company.

So now, my quandary: How do I fulfill my promise? Do I call and leave a voice mail with our Adjunct Secretary? Can I even ask the Judge to call me? Should I? Or do I write a note to the Judge and leave it in his mailbox in our Adjunct office? And then I wonder, what do I say to him? Yikes!

Since it was such a troubling issue, and one that I am sure is not mine alone, I decided to dig a bit deeper. I wrote an email to a friend of mine who no longer sits on the bench.

Below is the email Exchange:

Nadine wrote:

How does an attorney address a sitting Judge at a social function? Let's say at a Bar association meeting, etc. (And add: the attorney does not appear before the Judge in any matter.)

I always address her as "Your Honor," even when she is wearing a red dress instead of a black robe. That's how my momma raised me. I consider it respect.

Thanks. I appreciate your input.”

My friend responded:

I think "Your Honor" is the appropriate manner to address a judge no matter what the circumstances. The reality is that Judges are never truly "off duty", no matter what the circumstances.

Once you address her in that way and she then suggests a different manner of addressing her, then her suggestion is appropriate. I actually know of many judges who get pretty upset if they are addressed other than "Judge" or "Your Honor" no matter what the circumstances. I remember a retired Judges who would have a fit if people did not address him as "Your Honor" in social situations, and he had been off the bench for over 10 years.

Now I will go ahead and leave a note for the Judge, secure in the knowledge that the formal “Your Honor” salutation is appropriate.

Just thinking aloud and sharing my thoughts...